smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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