Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
