Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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