There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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