I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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