Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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