It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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