I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
