He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
dude i'm inner monologue high
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
