I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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