You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
