I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
