Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My bed smells like the plague
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