How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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