omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
