My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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