Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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