Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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