Christians are straight up FREAKS
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
