know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he was CRYING into my vagina
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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