She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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