I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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