Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
