You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
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just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
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They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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