after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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