Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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