she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
