so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
