i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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