Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
