Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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