Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
