pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
