I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
