zippers are such a cool invention
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
