im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
