I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
