and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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