Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
