Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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