The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
