my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
