he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
