Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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