he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
