She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
