I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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