Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
