can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
