We should be called the Road Head Warriors
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
