You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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