my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Are we still banned from the library?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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