question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
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First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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