listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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