TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
