Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
