If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Two words: blizzard sex
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
