i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
