I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize