between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
