new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
