I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
