No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize
